25, 2019 Featured Event
Dialectic: Being Noticed or Being Known
D Joan A. Friedman
Focus of the presentation:
A twinship is like a marriage without the freedom
to choose one’s partner. Biological destiny determines the
dyadic connection. For many twin pairs, the course of their
emotional life is dictated by this singular event. Contrary
to popular opinion, not all twins are soulmates, telepathic
communicators, or best friends. Twins have a unique
developmental trajectory which deserves examination so that
optimal treatment goals are implemented.
An in-depth look into the challenges of growing up
as a twin. Societal and cultural perceptions about twin
relationships rarely focus on the troublesome emotional issues
that twins confront. Many twin pairs are ill-equipped to
function as a singleton after having been raised in a twin
bubble. The presentation will include brief historical
overview of attachment literature as it pertains to twin
development; an outline of the most challenging parenting
dilemmas and corrective interventions; summary of particular
developmental hurdles that twins face as they grow into young
adulthood and beyond; recognition of the particular ways in which
treating a twin in therapy differs from a singleton patient.
Four (4) learning objectives:
Describe three characteristics
unique to twin relationships
Identify distinct childhood
developmental differences that impact twin maturity
Define three goals for the patient
to help manage the twin connection
Assess treatment strategies and
interventions that resonate with twin patients
Bio of presenter:
Dr. Joan A. Friedman is a gifted psychoanalytically
trained psychotherapist who has devoted many years of her
professional career to educating twins and their families about
twins’ emotional needs. Having worked through her own twinship
challenges and parented her fraternal twin sons, she is a
definitive expert on twin development.
She is the author of Emotionally Healthy Twins: A
New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children and The Same but
Different: How Twins Can Live, Love, and Learn to Be Individuals.
Her latest book Twins in Session: Case Histories in Treating
Twinship Issues will be published in June 2018. It is a
book written for psychotherapists and educators who require
specialized knowledge and insight about twin psychology in order
to be effective professionals. Dr. Friedman’s work focuses on
issues that adult twins confront as they adjust to life as
singletons after having been raised as twins.
Inland Empire Chapter of CAMFT is a CAMFT Approved
CEU Provider Agency Provider # 62278
CEU Hours: This course meets the qualifications
for 2 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs,
LPCCs, and LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral
Certificates: Completion certificates will be
awarded at the conclusion of the training and upon participant’s
submission of his or her completed evaluation.
Refund Policy: If a participant is unable to
attend and notifies IE-CAMFT 24 hours in advance of the training,
full reimbursement will be sent within ten (10) working days.
Grievance: If any aspect of the training is
not to the full satisfaction of any participant, please notify
the coordinator, CEU committee chair, or another IE-CAMFT board
member. We hope to resolve any issue immediately
on-site. If not resolved, the full IE-CAMFT board will
review and resolve the issue.
IE-CAMFT wishes all participants to have an
excellent learning experience. Please notify the coordinator
or other board member if you need special accommodations.
If possible, call Garry Raley at (951) 640-5899 in advance.
OUR JANUARY PRESENTER
The Need for Therapists
Who Understand Twin Issues
Author: Dr. Joan
the course of one week, I received emails asking for guidance
regarding the following twin issues:
- How do I cope with
my twin’s health crises?
- Why have both my
adult twin sons failed out of their respective colleges?
- How do I handle
conflict when my twin is my business partner?
- Who can I contact
regarding my inability to get along with my twin?
of these individuals struggled to find a therapist versed in
treating twin issues. For example, the woman who contacted me
regarding her anxiety about losing her twin sister to cancer
consulted many therapists before finding me. None of them
understood the kind of help that she needed. They had no knowledge
of the caretaker and cared for dynamic integral to many twin
relationships. Simply advising this woman to stop caring so much
about her sister was not what she needed to hear. She required
someone with a profound understanding of why one twin becomes the
caretaker for the other if the parent is absent emotionally or
pushed out by the twin connection. In this woman’s case, she has
been her twin’s emotional and physical caretaker since early
childhood. Understanding the complexities of twin loss in these
particular circumstances requires a sensitive approach to this
woman’s identity as a caretaker—not necessarily in any pathological
sense but rather as a byproduct of her lifelong twin role.
Since the birth rate of twins essentially doubled over the last thirty to
forty years, psychotherapists will benefit from familiarizing
themselves with the psychological issues common to this subgroup of
the population. Contrary to public opinion, not all twins are best friends, lifelong soulmates, or
telepathic communicators. Rather than perceiving twins through
antiquated stereotypes, mental health professionals should be advocates
for a more enlightened subjectivity.
I began my research on the psychology of twinship over thirty years
ago, most of the literature was inaccessible to the nonacademic
reader, and many psychotherapists focused on extreme abnormalities
among twins. Understanding the role that twinship can play in
causing serious emotional dysfunction is certainly important;
however, the extreme case studies in my research did not mirror the
issues that I struggled with in my own twinship and that I knew other
twins grappled with as well.
lack of published analyses reflective of common twinship issues
motivated me to write The Same but Different, a book for
adult twins. I wanted to offer adult twins the opportunity to learn
about the expectable—rather than the extreme— developmental issues
that often arise as a consequence of being a twin, and I wanted to
explain the positive and negative impacts that a twinship can have
on one’s emotional health, relationships, and sense of self.
my therapy practice grew and an increasing number of twins
contacted me for help with their twinship problems, I realized that
many of my clients had experienced difficulties with previous
therapists who were unfamiliar with twin psychology. In fact, a
number of clients related how past therapists misunderstood their
twinship issues and inaccurately characterized what it meant to be
would a twin forgo her own needs to ensure her same-age sibling is
always cared for when her sister doesn’t even appreciate her
sacrifices? What would cause a twin to experience severe anxiety
and panic attacks when he and his brother go away to separate
colleges? What makes it so difficult for some twins to develop
friendships and romantic relationships?
twin who is having problems with a same-age sibling may think of
himself or herself as part of a couple in conflict. Since twins are
conditioned to expect effortless intimacy with their sibling, they
often feel deeply distraught when problems arise between them. Rage
often underlies the anxiety that some twins experience due to their
being perceived as, and essentially functioning as, one half of a
twin mystique—our culture’s idealization of the twin
relationship—and twins’ own expectations contribute to their
difficulties. A therapist who understands the psychology of
twinship can articulate what is actually going on between the
siblings and become a trusted outsider who can give twin clients
perspective about their twinship issues and help them develop
Joan A. Friedman is a psychoanalytically trained psychotherapist
who has devoted many years of her professional career to educating
twins and their families. She has written three books about various
aspects of twin development.
learn more, visit
January Featured Event
Article by Dr. Joan A. Friedman
Welcome New and Renewing
next IE CAMFT 3000 club meeting for February 9th from 12 to 1:30 p.m.
2641 Hamner Avenue Suite 210, Norco, CA. It will be a Q&A with a
focus on getting into private practice.
Welcome New Members!
Illana Lara, Antenique Nevarez, Michael Rector,
Cynthia Brownlee, Michele Putini
Thank you for renewing!
Maryana Helu, Frank Gonzalez, Lisa Popper, Daniel
Nyirady, Sarah Jane Martinez, Sally Finn, Marie Honda, Holly Leary,
Reminders: Nicholle Stepanian,
Katherine Hunter, LuAnn Ahrens, Sarah Oh, Sarah Wood, Jasmine
Goindi, Roberta Verderico, Charmayne Bowens, Omar
Gonzalez-Valentino, Stacy Rusu, Traci Lowenthal, Kari Hidalgo,
Betty Avery, Vernon Bradley, Norma Jasso, Josie Guillen, Joshua
It is YOU the members who keep our chapter
going! If your membership is up for renewal please complete
the renewal process as soon as possible--your membership is the
backbone of our organization and what allows us to keep offering
great seminars and CEUs, the Therapist Directory, Membership
Directory, and more. Thank you! :)
Happy New Year, everyone!
I hope you are all well rested and ready for 2019. Quick
note: if you are currently in school, planning to go back, or are
participating in advanced training, and have not yet looked into
the scholarship opportunities that CAMFT offers, I urge you to
follow this link to see if you might
qualify. The deadline for this year has passed, but
start thinking about next year now so you don't miss it for next
First and foremost I would like
to congratulate IE-CAMFT’s Program Chair, Ilse Aerts, on being
nominated for the Outstanding Leadership Award, which will be
awarded at next month’s CAMFT Leadership Conference. Ilse is
responsible for creating the wonderfully varied and relevant
training program that we offer through IE-CAMFT, and we are
incredibly grateful for all of her hard work and dedication that
makes it all possible. In addition to Ilse, our entire
board does some amazing team work with regards to membership
development, including Carol A. Bouldin, Membership Chair and
Webmaster for our website, Steve Gray, Financial Officer, the CEU
committee, and hospitality committee, who always provide a
wonderful breakfast spread for our monthly meetings. This
amazing talent and teamwork has also earned IE-CAMFT a nomination
for the Chapter Excellence Award in the area of Best Membership
Development. Congratulations, everyone! And thank you for
all that you do for our members and our community!
Amanda Cavicchi, MA, LMFT
Ethics: The Psychotherapist as a Creator of Outcomes! - February
How do I Talk to my Grieving Client? - March 22, 2019
Deep TMS and Beyond - April 26, 2019