Inland Empire Chapter of CAMFT

Recovery from Religion:  Recognizing and Supporting Individuals Through Crises of Faith or Religious Transitions

Rebecca Williams, MS, LMFT

Questioning, then doubt, and a crisis of faith. This experience can be terrifying for a devoutly religious person. They may find themselves saying “I never intended to be here! How did this happen? What will my family think? What will become of me?” The result could be a reconfiguration of faith, religious switching, or a transition to irreligion. Some make these transitions smoothly and some people get stuck. They experience confusion, anxiety, isolation, depression, and relational problems. They may show up in your office not entirely sure what’s happening to them.

This presentation gave participants an overview of stages of questioning/doubt, Religious Trauma Syndrome, and stages of recovery from a crisis of faith. We discussed simple questions for assessment and strategies to support individuals through the process. The presentation will address how to help people maintain ties with religious family members and friends, and we will discuss when referring out is the most appropriate step for the client.

Objectives:

1. Participants learned the symptoms individuals may experience when separating from their religion.

2. Participants learned the stages of recovery from a rigid religious experience.

3. Participants learned how to support individuals leaving their religion in maintaining ties with religious friends and family members.

4. Participants learned how to recognize when to refer out individuals leaving religion.

Rebecca Williams is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#81817) in private practice in Riverside. She is passionate about couples therapy and works with couples who are destabilized by one or both partners exiting religion or recovering from addiction. She has done training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Gottman Method Couples Therapy. She is a member of CAMFT, the Mormon Mental Health Association, and the Secular Therapist Project.

Ms. Williams came to the family therapy field from a background in education. Working with troubled teens, she saw that there was only so much change that could happen for the kids without change happening in the family as well. She graduated with her Masters from Loma Linda University and did internship work with substance abusing teens and their families. She has a love and talent for relational work.

Rebecca was drawn to this specialty through personal experience. As a formerly devout and observant religious person, she understands the existential crises that follow a loss of faith and the painful struggle to maintain relationships with family and friends who remain faithful. In meeting with other formerly religious people, she discovered common experiences of marital strain, family rejection, and being misunderstood or harmed in therapeutic settings. These are the people she loves to serve! She believes there is enough love, respect, and creativity in the world to allow individuals in marriages and families to have different spiritual paths while remaining intimately connected and having fulfilling relationships.

List of Recommended Reading:

Leaving religion:

Leaving the Fold: A guide for former fundamentalists and others leaving their religion by Marlene Winell

Trusting Doubt: A former Evangelical looks at old beliefs in a new light by Valerie Tarico

Girl at the End of the World: My escape from fundamentalism in search of faith by Elizabeth Esther

From Housewife to Heretic:  One woman's spiritual awakening and her excommunication from the Mormon Church, by Sonia Johnson

Exploring new beliefs and practices:

The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A woman's journey from Christian tradition to the sacred feminine by Sue Monk Kidd

When Mormons Doubt: A way to save relationships and seek a quality life by Jon Ogden

Spiritual Sobriety: Stumbling back to faith when good religion goes bad by Elizabeth Esther

Flunking Sainthood: A year of breaking the sabbath, forgetting to pray, and still loving my neighbor by Jana Reiss

About confronting shame and setting boundaries:

Codependent No More: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself by Melody Beattie

The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to communicate your needs, set healthy boundaries, and transform your relationships by Julie de Azevedo Hanks

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are by Brene Brown (though any of her books would be great. This one is a good start.)

The Dance of Anger: A woman's guide to changing the patterns of intimate relationships by Harriet Lerner

For a downloadable PDF of the handout and the book list, go to the "Recovery from Religion" seminar page under the "Seminar Information and Discussion" section located in the "Members Only" area of the website.