Log in

Inland Empire Chapter of CAMFT


May 2020

May 22, 2020 Featured Event

This is a Zoom event*

Breaking Through Betrayal during COVID-19

Holli Kenley, LMFT

When we think of betrayal, most of us associate it with our personal relationships. However, with our lives changing at a more rapid and unstable pace accompanied by a myriad of ensuing injuries and injustices precipitated or exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, people are feeling betrayed on all levels: financially, legally, professionally, relationally, politically, spiritually, etc.  While some individuals are able to bounce back rather quickly, many more struggle with the paralyzing effects of betrayal and are not able to move forward.

What I am proposing is innovative and inclusive. In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I specialized in the areas of abuse, trauma, addiction, grief and loss. Although there are many valuable interventions that bring effective healing and growth for our clients struggling with these issues, I often felt as though I was missing something.  Also, I consistently felt challenged by the different kinds of betrayal that my clients were experiencing, and I felt frustrated by the ineffectiveness of both the knowledge and tools available to address betrayal injury. What I have come to learn is that betrayal injury is unique: it is often buried beneath a myriad of other presenting disorders/symptoms; it is frequently missed and dismissed; and left unattended, it continues to manifest with increasing destructiveness and devastation.

After spending several years observing clients, analyzing case studies, and synthesizing qualitative data, I have brought together a new perspective on betrayal and a recovery program tailored specifically for injury from betrayal, of any kind. 

Theory of Practice

In addressing recovery from betrayal injury, given the initial work of Breaking through the Betrayal, I will incorporate a blend of two theoretical approaches in its assessment and intervention.

  • 1.       Client- Centered Therapy:   In working with all kinds of betrayal, it is vital to establish trust and rapport, join with the client, establish unconditional positive regard, and remain open. Following the client’s pace is critical in working through the three States of Being and in navigating their levels of exposure to their betrayers and/or their betrayal environments.
  • 2.       Cognitive –Behavioral Therapy:  Cognitive – Behavioral Therapy is an important methodology to utilize in unhooking negative or destructive underlying assumptions and beliefs associated with the three States of Being, and in establishing or redefining new truths or beliefs. Cognitive-Behavioral exercises are also an integral part of addressing triggers, releasing of emotions, boundary setting, and beginning the process of reclaiming one’s truths and righting one’s self.

    Program Description

    What is betrayal? When our clients say, “I feel so betrayed,” what are they feeling and why? And how long and to what degree will they feel this way and why? Based on client observation, case analysis, and qualitative data, the “Breaking through Betrayal” workshop will introduce participants to a new perspective on betrayal examining it as a singular issue. At the same time, participants will be challenged to widen their therapeutic lens, viewing “betrayal” as a universal experience by comprehensively examining its connotations and applications into our lives. In addition, although “betrayal” may be the presenting issue, it is frequently embedded within other presenting disorders such as depression, addiction, grief/loss, and anxiety and is exacerbated by behaviors such as codependency. The “Breaking through Betrayal” workshop will offer participants new thinking into “betrayal’s” anatomy, facilitating 1) understanding degree of injury, 2) assessment of presenting symptoms/ manifestations, and 3) implementation of effective interventions.

This issue:

May Featured Event is a ZOOM event*


President's Message

Welcome New and Renewing Members!

At Our Last Meeting

Upcoming Events

Goal and Learning Objectives:

Goal: To present a new perspective on the issue of betrayal allowing for more effective assessment, intervention, and treatment of betrayal injury.

Learning Objectives:

  • 1.       Describe three distinct explanations of betrayal and apply them to a myriad of examples in client experiences.
  • 2.       Discuss at least one definition of betrayal’s States of Being; Name and explain the three States of Being – Confusion, Worthlessness, and Powerlessness; identify four of their respective manifestations and symptoms; discuss two effective interventions for each.
  • 3.       Recognize that through an analysis of betrayal’s anatomy, participants will be able to articulate the two principles of degree: degree of investment, trust, or belief and degree of occurrence and explain four ways in which each principle is related to symptom duration and severity.  
  • 4.       Describe a person’s relationships with betrayal presentations; and discuss four effective treatment implications, especially in regard to grief and co-dependency.

Bio:  Holli Kenley is a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a California State Licensed Teacher. She holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling. She has worked in a variety of settings: a women’s shelter, a counseling center, and in private practice. Holli’s areas of specialized training and experience include sexual abuse and trauma, betrayal, codependency, cyber bullying, and screen addiction. Holli maintains a private practice in Rancho Mirage.

 Holli Kenley is the author of nine recovery books including:

  • ·Daughters Betrayed By Their Mothers: Moving From Brokenness To Wholeness
  • · Second Edition of Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering The Peace Within  
  • Power Down & Parent Up: Cyber Bullying, Screen Dependence & Raising Tech- Healthy Children
  • Holli is also a contributing Wellness Editor for CLEAR Life Magazine.

Holli Kenley also works in the field of psychology as an author and a workshop presenter.  She has been a six-time peer presenter at CAMFT’s Annual  State Conferences and a featured or keynote speaker at college level clinical programs, state and national advocacy organizations, and educational institutions speaking on the topics of bullying, cyber bullying, betrayal, relapse, screen dependency, sexual abuse recovery, and the power of self-worth.  Holli has been a guest on over 100 podcasts as well as on Arizona TV speaking on issues of wellness. Prior to and during her career as a therapist, Holli taught for thirty years in public education.

 Holli will be presenting at CAMFT’s 2020 Annual Conference speaking on “Technology: A Clearer Vision.”

Inland Empire Chapter of CAMFT is a CAMFT Approved CEU Provider Agency  Provider # 62278

*Disclaimer re Zoom:  We understand that using new technology is a challenge, and recognize that offering educational events through an online service such as Zoom presents a major change in the delivery of our seminars.  If the seminar is interrupted due to any technological issue on our end, we will either issue credit for a similar future seminar or refund the seminar fee.

We wish to make our attendees aware that while we acknowledge that it may present a challenge for some participants, IE-CAMFT is not responsible for any difficulty registrants may encounter getting online due to slow Internet speeds, high traffic, losing connectivity, downloading the application, etc.  As a CEU provider, we must abide by the guidelines of CAMFT as required by the BBS and, accordingly, cannot issue CEU credit if seminar registrants are not online for the full seminar time.  Thank you for your understanding.  

CEU Hours: This course meets the qualifications for 2 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences

Certificates: Electronic certificates will be sent by email upon participant’s completion of his or her electronic evaluation Certificates are sent out in batches generally within 48-72 hours, not immediately upon completion. 

Refund Policy:  If a participant is unable to attend and notifies IE-CAMFT 72 hours in advance of the training, seminar fee will be fully reimbursed.

Grievance:  If any aspect of the training is not to the full satisfaction of any participant, please notify the coordinator, CEU committee chair, or another IE-CAMFT board member.  We hope to resolve any issue immediately on-site.  If not resolved, the full IE-CAMFT board will review and resolve the issue.

IE-CAMFT wishes all participants to have an excellent learning experience.  Please notify the coordinator or other board member if you need special accommodations.  If possible, call Garry Raley at (951) 640-5899 in advance

Presenter Non-Appearance Policy

In the unlikely event that a scheduled presenter does not appear for a scheduled event, the following steps will be used to remediate inconvenience to attendees:

An announcement will be made to inform everyone that CEU credits cannot be provided due to inability to meet CAMFT standards for advance notice, etc.

The meeting will be held.  Attendees will be encouraged to participate for the purpose of professional development.

If an attendee has paid for the seminar, s/he will receive either a full refund or credit for a future presentation.

If the topic will be repeated at a later time, notice of the date and time will be provided to all interested parties.


Due to concerns regarding COVID-19, we will be offering our courses online through Zoom rather than in person until further notice in order to minimize any potential spread of the corona virus through social contact. 

The invitations to join the seminars will be sent to registrants a few days ahead of the seminars. Please download Zoom ahead of time; you may access the seminar by either clicking the link or clicking on the Zoom app, selecting "Go to meeting" and then entering the meeting ID you will receive in your reminder email.  It will prompt you to enter a password, which is included with the link.

*Disclaimer re Zoom:  We understand that using new technology is a challenge, and recognize that offering educational events through an online service such as Zoom presents a major change in the delivery of our seminars.  If the seminar is interrupted due to any technological issue on our end, we will either issue credit for a similar future seminar or refund the seminar fee.

We wish to make our attendees aware that while we acknowledge that it may present a challenge for some participants, IE-CAMFT is not responsible for any difficulty registrants may encounter getting online due to slow Internet speeds, high traffic, losing connectivity, downloading the application, etc.  As a CEU provider, we must abide by the guidelines of CAMFT as required by the BBS and, accordingly, cannot issue CEU credit if seminar registrants are not online for the full seminar time.  Thank you for your understanding. 

 President's Message:

Thank you Sherry for writing the President’s message last month, you did a great job explaining these changing times, offering tools for our new virtual presentations, and explaining small business options for those clinicians in private practice.  I will quote last month’s message as these descriptions remain relevant.  

Due to the situation with the Corona virus, we completed our election electronically this last month.  Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to vote. The election results were overwhelmingly clear: let’s keep the board that we have been working with this last year. 

Election results were as follows:

President:  Carol Adkisson; President-Elect:  Carol A. Bouldin; Past President:  Amanda Cavicchi; Secretary:  Sherry Shockey-Pope; Financial Officer:  Steve Gray; Program Chair:  Lynn Flewelling; Membership Chair:  Ilse Aerts; Member-at-Large:  Garry Raley; Member-at-Large:  Annette Compton; Member-at-Large:  Ava Denise Phillips

As a board, our plan is to continue to offer you relevant and unique trainings to augment your education.  Let me reiterate the benefits that you receive as a member of IE-CAMFT.

1. 2- Unit Education Seminars – 10 per year; 2. Reduced fee for our annual Law and Ethics seminar; 3. Free classified ads on our website and also in our monthly ad bulletin; Networking opportunities with fellow clinicians; 5. Public online Therapist Directory; 6. Members only area on our website that includes expanded information on seminars

As we continue in these unique times, depending on the county in which you live, you may have different mandates than just a few streets over.  I have connected with enough therapists to know many of you have had a crash course in telehealth and most are up and running seeing many clients via computer and telephone.  I know some therapists that have chosen to work with practices as a hybrid, one day a week in the office using social distancing rules and the rest of the week from home.  I also have heard some therapists that due to the disruptions at home continue to go to their offices to meet virtually with their clients.  However you have decided to manage this, please stay safe and follow the guidelines for your local community.   There is a lot of talk about returning to our normal work day, please be thoughtful and careful as changes are on a daily basis and safety remains paramount for all of us.  

As Sherry noted, the government has been in the process of helping those small businesses in need using the Paycheck Protection Program and the Economic Injury Disaster Loan Program.  Yes they ran out of money fairly fast, and immediately started working on the second level of funding for businesses that weren’t able to make it into the first round.  I just read that when that money is also used up, the government has plans to request additional funds.  Please keep in mind that there is help for you as a small business through the CARES act.  Please visit for further information.  

Thank you Jill Johnson-Young for your amazing training last month on Grief in the midst of Covid-19.  Jill’s training was so useful, and it showed that virtual trainings are amazing, screen sharing is virtually effortless.  For those of you that joined in our chat, thank you, you showed that networking is still possible online.   

We are now getting ready for our next virtual training with Holli Kenley on the subject matter of Breaking through Betrayal with Covid 19, featured in this edition of the newsletter.  If you have an opportunity to see my Interview with Holli Kenley in which she offers a preview of her upcoming training.  

As our virtual trainings were explained by Sherry last month: “This process is easy, and you can take part from the comfort of your home or office and even in your PJs if you like. Please do sign in early, and you must be present until the end. CEU time requirements are in place.  Also, you need to complete the seminar evaluation form in order to get your certificate.  The certificates are emailed in batches, so the earlier you complete yours, the sooner you will receive it, as most people submit theirs right after the seminar.

Here are a few suggestions to make your experience optimal.   

1.    Download and install the Zoom application ahead of time.

2.    Log in at least 15-20 minutes early and sign in. That way, you have time if a problem arises.

3.    Have only one browser window open during the conference call. We don’t need to see your email, and you will have a better connection.

4.    Make sure you are in a quiet place, and if you can’t be, or your dog starts barking of your child starts to cry, please mute yourself. In fact, everyone will be able to hear better if everyone but the presenter mutes themselves.

5.  Wear earbuds or headphones as that helps with unwanted feedback and makes everyone’s experience better.

6.  If the quality of the video becomes a challenge, you can stop the video and continue with audio-only. “

All of us as clinicians need to first take care of ourselves, in order to be present and mindful for our clients.  This may include putting your needs and the needs of your family ahead of your clients.  This is not about being selfish, this is actually a selfless act so that you have more to offer during each session.  Please take this seriously.  Many of our trainings are teaching us skills toward this end.  

Thank you, and please stay safe.  

Carol Rose Adkisson, IE-CAMFT President


Welcome New and Returning Members!


Danielle Larin, Keisha Young, Pamela Perez, Salama Lama, Deepali Sansi

Thank you for renewing!

Wendy Durkee, Suzanne Snyder, Michelle Donaldson, Jenna Hardy,Terry Fowler, Mary Sullivan-Tansey, Lisa Axelrod, Mary Stanley, Paulette Douglas, Betty Odak, Irma Obregon

Renewal RemindersAraceli Rosas, RoJean Talmadge, Karisa Quick, Natasha Revilla, Danielle Bowen, Lisa Erazo, Jacquelyn McDonald, Ezekiel Moseley, Julie Chappa, Marelis Marrero, Stefanie Sherbon, Melissa Casebier, Tamara Gonzalez, Jose Ramirez, Carolyn Edwards, Catherine Hayes, Carolyn Howell, Layla Subhani, Leticia Brice, Catherine Alix, Barbara Tucker Windeknecht, Brandon Mansouri, Tino Rodriguez

At Our Last Meeting:

Grief in the midst of COVID 19: What are we going to do to hold all of it? How are we going to take care of ourselves?

Jill A. Johnson-Young, LCSW

The original presentation for this month was focused on the dying process and how it informs working with grieving clients. It also addressed how to approach grief with clients, how to create a safe environment, and how to make grief solution focused, not the forever experience for your client after a significant death.

That’s all vitally important information. We can do it another time. Right now we have COVID. We are working from home or closed offices. We are trying to make practices work or to meet the increasing needs of clients in our work sites. We are facing what has already occurred in Italy. These are just some of the issues coming up worldwide, all of which are already occurring on our East Coast:

  • Funerals and memorial services that cannot be held or have to be done online- all without touching.
  • Deaths occurring rapidly, and without loved ones being able to be there, to witness, to comfort, to say goodbye
  • ·Family members who are sick after a death, and multiple family losses
  • ·The impact of witnessing mass death across the country (and world)
  • ·Not being able to get “home” if needed- wherever home might be
  • · Medical, housekeeping, coroner and mortuary staff getting sick and fearing for their own lives as they care for others
  • ·  “Essential” workers being exposed and not being able to remove themselves from the situation for financial and job security reasons
  • Financial stressors and losses: offices for therapists, homes, apartments, jobs, security, retirement savings
  • Unrecognized losses: graduations, proms, promotions for littles in Kinder and 6th grades, pets for those who have to move, opportunities lost, plans that had to change, not being able to see parents or elders or grandkids or ?, medical issues that had to go unresolved, holidays, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, not seeing friends, missing school, not being in plays or concerts or performances or competitions, and on and on and on. All of them.

This presentation focused on helping therapists:

1)    identify how to best meet the needs of clients who are coping with grief now and in the future, including all of the above losses.

2)   identify three ways to take care of yourself while in the middle of the crisis and afterward in grief work.

3)   Learn how to normalize and validate the importance of all the losses for clients who minimize their own losses.

Finally, we did some intense grief prep to help those who are going to or will lose loved ones to this disease in a way that nobody has had to cope since the last polio epidemic or the flu pandemic of 1918.

This presentation offered good information to help therapists deal with grief and also provided some humor and hope because in addition to listening and holding space, humor and hope are our best assets.


Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW is a dynamic and engaging local, national, and international speaker who loves teaching both professional and community groups about dementia, death and dying, and grief and loss. She’s known for her sense of humor and making people laugh while talking about the stuff nobody really wants to talk about, including therapists. She co-owns Central Counseling Services in Riverside, California, where she is also a clinical therapist. She is a certified Grief Recovery Facilitator after spending more than a decade with hospice as a medical social worker and as a director of social workers, chaplains, and grief staff. She holds a BA from UC Riverside and her MSW from the University of South Florida. Jill has authored three children’s grief books and an adult grief workbook with more in process, and created, a year-long, comprehensive grief support program. She also has a website,, which includes resources for therapists. In her spare time Jill facilitates a dementia support group in Riverside and is part of the Riverside Purple Cities Commission. Her book “The Rebellious Widow: A practical guide to love and life after loss” will be out in 2020.  Jill became a subject expert on grief after being widowed twice and marrying the funeral director who took care of both her late wives. She now spends quiet evenings with Stacie in the mortuary several nights a week. They share their life with three adult daughters, two grandsons, and three Oodles.  Her books can be found on Amazon.,

Interview with Jill Johnson-Young

Upcoming Events:

Brainspotting: Trauma Therapy that Works!  - June 26, 2020

NO SEMINAR IN JULY - Board Retreat

August 28, 2020 - TBD

Powered by Wild Apricot Membership Software