Inland Empire Chapter of CAMFT

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November President-Elect's Message

15 Nov 2021 8:54 AM | Nancy Orr (Administrator)

As the world feels medically safer, myself and my friends and family are more comfortable being together. I recently met with extended family and it felt so good to connect; hugging and sharing again.  We humans yearn for safe connections with others, the amount and quality of that connection varying from person to person. But we are an adaptive species, one which can choose to isolate if it seems safer to do so. Recently a family member related how he isolates himself from time to time, even from his wife.
A car person, this family member is the proud owner of a bright yellow '56 Chevy. He reports that he has to "fill all his gas tanks" periodically, including the figurative tanks that fuel his psyche. His wife added that during these times it can seem as if he's "not there" when she reaches for him. Attempting to mollify her he explained that these "tank fillings" take time.

A client reported that lately she felt "disconnected" from the world, but that talking to this writer helped her with these feelings. She reported sleeping difficulties and trouble maintaining daily and evening rituals she adopted over the past year, rituals that helped her to feel safer. By her report she is now having more interactions with others but that these contacts put her "on overload". Although she yearned for such contacts, perhaps she needed a time out for refilling her emotional "tanks". Moving too fast without the requisite emotional fuel was triggering, leaving her feeling out of control.  
We humans like to feel in control in the context of our connections. IE-CAMFT offers members the opportunity to widen our range of connections at a pace that feels safe for each member.
I love being part of IE-CAMFT. I'm glad to be a part of the bigger picture. It keeps me hopeful.
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT
Nothing done for another is wasted.

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