FEELINGS TRIGGERED, NEW PERSPECTIVE GAINED

I am all about feelings, there I admit it!  Reason and logic are not without merit but they hold a subordinate role in my life. So, it wasn't easy for me to hear from clients that in their world memories had no feelings and current events had feelings that existed only after focused consideration and evaluation.

Still, I'm thankful for those clients — most of them, actually — because they help me to see the unexpected. I look forward to IE-CAMFT trainings for the same reason: They expose me to new perspectives. They may not make complete sense at first but after my initial visceral reaction, careful consideration will show them to be the gift of a new perspective. New information presented by thoughtful professionals who take joy in sharing is what IE-CAMFT training/CEU opportunities are all about.

And when the presentation is over, several past CEU opportunities are available on our website in our ON DEMAND LIBRARY; more will be available soon. Access these now, while all available presentations are free of charge for members! Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to iecamft@gmail.com.
 
I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful!
 
Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT
Nothing done for another is wasted

Video Message From Carol

I made a decision to tell you what I am feeling on video, as that is the way that I have chosen these last four years in my own life.

I am so excited about Ben Caldwell’s training on Friday the 25th, with all of these new laws I am trying to get the word out that we all need to understand these news laws and set up new systems whether you are a therapist in private practice or you have a group.

Also for those of you that work in so many different places with the populations you serve, this training will be so vey relevant.   I am so excited that you have a choice now to view live and/or stream when you have the time.  Covid has changed our world in so many ways, and as Ben said in his interview, they are rushing laws to congress to make this much needed changes. 

I am leaving with a fond fairwell, knowing that I had a mission when I came online and for me that mission was served.  One of my missions was to have bigger audience so that we can impact more people.

With the help of so many, (list everyone) we were able to keep up with the times and move to virtual trainings with less difficulty than we thought.  I won’t say it was easy, but it was great in that we created a more simplified system to accommodate much larger audience.  I believe Lisa Larson’s training on Brainspotting was the first training when Covid had us on lockdown.  That first training had somewhere about (210?) registrations.  Her team helped us and we were very grateful for their help. 

In the end I give Paul Velan the baton, I have no doubt that he will do a great job.  He has been around much longer than me.  I am grateful that he has stepped up.  In the meantime as I say in my video, please consider volunteering, it can change your life, it definitely has changed mine.

Carol Rose Adkisson
President of IE-Camft

When I presented at an IE-CAMFT training many years ago, I was excited to share what I hoped would be used to bring about such transformative moments. I felt inspired and hoped the audience felt the same. New information, presented by thoughtful professionals who find joy in soothing those parts of the professional mind that yearn for knowledge, that's what IE-CAMFT training/CEU opportunities are all about.

And when the presentation is over, several past CEU opportunities are available ON DEMAND on our website at ie-camft.org. Look for ON DEMAND LIBRARY and more will be available soon. Don't Delay in checking these out, since all available presentations are free of charge for members (for now)!! Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to iecamft@gmail.com (mailto:iecamft@gmail.com).

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of the big picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

Well, It happened again. I was able to hear my clients with a new ear after a training with Lynn Aguilar, LMFT. As a client reported a painful new emotional experience after years of feeling numb, she felt like a failure. But, as I listened I could hear Lynn reminding me that this client had forgotten how to pay attention to how she felt — and was relearning how to do so. So, instead of feeling shame we were able to assess social, cultural norms and folkways that perhaps have no value for her. This allowed my client to champion her own dissonant felt sensations.

This was progress for which my client and I could rejoice!

Presented by thoughtful professionals who find joy in sharing their wisdom, IE-CAMFT training/CEU opportunities are great catalysts for this kind of learning.

We appreciate that you cast your vote/and or nominate yourself for Board of Directors and thanks for all you do for our professional organization, IE-CAMFT.

Good News!!!

Several past CEU opportunities are available ON DEMAND on our website at ie-camft.org. Look for ON DEMAND LIBRARY and more will be available soon. Don't Delay in checking these out, since all available presentations are free of charge for members (for now)!! Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to iecamft@gmail.com.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of the big picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

I often begin initial client assessment sessions by asking what words they would use to describe themselves. My answer to the same question would be "helpful" and passionate. That's because helpful and passionate are how I like to be seen by others.  It's a good day when I know I'm perceived this way by clients. It's when I'm not seen as helpful and/or passionate that I'm not feeling good. This bad feeling leads to not feeling well, which leads to being symptomatic (panicked, anxious, depression).  Still, I'd rather feel those not-so-pleasant feelings rather than think I'm not helpful. It's disturbing to be seen as other than how I want to be seen, and I've found a successful tactic for dealing with it: Learn something new.

When listening to one of our IE-CAMFT speakers, I get not only information, but also their passion to share it. I sense that I can use the new information to be more helpful in the future. And, this soothes me ... my brain is renewed, reconfigured, and filled with new learning. IE-CAMFT training CEU opportunities are a terrific conduit for this type of learning, presented by speakers both helpful and passionate.

Several of these CEU opportunities are available ON DEMAND on our website; Check out our On Demand Library. While some of these CEU opportunities are available now, more will be available soon. Don't delay in checking these out; for now all available presentations are free of charge for members and a small fee for non-members. Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to:
iecamft@gmail.com.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It means I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful.

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

A Happy New Year to all! My wish for you includes many moments free of threats to your sense of safety.

Wishing for you all a stockpile of long term memories of emotional safety that can be drawn into working memory, and turn off, if even for a moment, any need to be vigilant for threats to your well being. I think Stephen Porges, PhD would call that state a "ventral vagal brake". In that safer state, it is possible to resolve conundrums with surprising ingenuity.

Of course, to have such a stockpile you have to have safe experiences either real or imagined to draw from. Personally, the feeling that comes with learning something new, or having old understandings extended, adds to my good feeling stockpile. Also, sitting amongst other members of my tribe (in vivo or online) enhances that feeling of purpose with others I enjoy so much!

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. I'm glad to be part of a bigger picture. It keeps me hopeful.

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

As the world feels medically safer, myself and my friends and family are more comfortable being together. I recently met with extended family and it felt so good to connect; hugging and sharing again.  We humans yearn for safe connections with others, the amount and quality of that connection varying from person to person. But we are an adaptive species, one which can choose to isolate if it seems safer to do so. Recently a family member related how he isolates himself from time to time, even from his wife.
 
A car person, this family member is the proud owner of a bright yellow '56 Chevy. He reports that he has to "fill all his gas tanks" periodically, including the figurative tanks that fuel his psyche. His wife added that during these times it can seem as if he's "not there" when she reaches for him. Attempting to mollify her he explained that these "tank fillings" take time.

A client reported that lately she felt "disconnected" from the world, but that talking to this writer helped her with these feelings. She reported sleeping difficulties and trouble maintaining daily and evening rituals she adopted over the past year, rituals that helped her to feel safer. By her report she is now having more interactions with others but that these contacts put her "on overload". Although she yearned for such contacts, perhaps she needed a time out for refilling her emotional "tanks". Moving too fast without the requisite emotional fuel was triggering, leaving her feeling out of control.  
 
We humans like to feel in control in the context of our connections. IE-CAMFT offers members the opportunity to widen our range of connections at a pace that feels safe for each member.
 
I love being part of IE-CAMFT. I'm glad to be a part of the bigger picture. It keeps me hopeful.
 
Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT
Nothing done for another is wasted.

"All that's you is now.  There is no past".  

A client was trying to explain her inner experience to me, but I was just not getting it!  She was so patient as she explained that there was no past, just the present.  
 
My adult clients tell me about disturbing memories of past events when it is the current disturbance in current working memory that is troubling them. When past events remain disturbing as we remember them now it's because we did not have the information needed to make sense of the event when it was happening. Remembering a past disturbance is another opportunity to relive that event, except with a new and improved 2021 model brain, the latest model.
 
Every time we learn something new we are upgrading our brains. 2007 was a too-challenging year for me. I can remember the events of that year as a single collage, or tease them apart, remembering them one at a time with my now brain, a brain filled with new thoughts, ideas, schemas, to help me make sense of troubling memories from that awful year.
 
It's good to be able to make the past the present; and expose difficult memories to the scrutiny of one's new and improved brain. My brain is renewed, reconfigured and filled with new learning, facilitated by the monthly offerings at IE-CAMFT training/CEU opportunities.  
 
I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It means I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful.
 
Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

From the time I was born, and likely before that, I have been taking in information from available senses — it's just the human thing to do. But how did we as a species arrive at an adaptive information processing system, one that serves to keep us safer, more likely to survive? The answer to this question is a matter of much opinion. Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget and others have always served me well, and they suggest that as we take in new information we integrate it with older observations; voilá! an adaptive information processing system.

Humans without the ability to integrate information in this way are left with points of trauma. And, integration takes time. A client shared this thought with me and I was left with a sense of just how important "time to be" was for the integration process. As a child he knew instinctively that the time he required for "being" was necessary, despite important people in his life steering him toward spending time accomplishing other goals. Whether we call this "time to be" mindfulness, meditation, or even just enjoying the view, it is a kind of catalyst that allows us to let in the new.

Who has not experienced the perceived need for caution that outliers feel when interacting with those who are among the mean of a distribution? The energy expended in hiding one's outlier status — and the fear of that status being discovered — can suck the life out of enterprise.

As humans we need to feel connected, and being an outlier feels antithetical to that feeling of connection. To have someone from the majority respect the perspective of the outlier is soothing for an outlier. As a culture we seem to be moving increasingly toward awareness of those outliers who occupy a smaller percent of the general population; this I think of as human growth.

Once again, the monthly IE-CAMFT training/CEU opportunities makes learning the perspectives of those in outlier groups of all sorts easier.  This can only serve to make our culture more inclusive. Featured speakers may give context to the perspectives of outliers; allowing them to become resources from whom to learn more in the future.  Check for more info and to RSVP for our future events: www.ie-camft.org

The effort, if successful, increases the chance we can hear the pain of more and more diverse populations, responding to them with genuine respect. The look of relief on a client's face when he/she, them/they feels heard is the best treat ever!

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. I'm so glad to be a part of a bigger picture. It keeps me hopeful.

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT
Nothing done for another is wasted