As I read the editorial about Senator Fetterman being “brave” to ask for help I was reminded that it is time for our chapter to ask for help.  The evaluation by state CAMFT would be positive about our chapters work in 2022; but we know that Ilse needs help and back-up, Omar will be depending on colleagues if we move forward with organizational development, and more. This is an invitation to bring your skills, knowledge and abilities as a gift to our 200+ members.  While breathing, stretching, calming … allow your mind to drift along the path for “giving”. Send a message to iecamft@gmail.com.

Options for serving:
__  I will learn tasks that need to be done and accept responsibility
__  I will use my skills to teach or complete some of the many tasks required
__  I will seek board or leadership responsibilities

One way is to request that you become a board member (see information below)

We will only be able to continue meeting the needs of our chapter with your support. Please talk with colleagues, friends, foes, yourself, or anyone that will help you decide how you may contribute.  Call me or any board member.  WE NEED YOU TO SEEK OFFICER POSITIONS, VOLUNTEER, ANY AND ALL CONTRIBUTIONS.

The process schedule for electing board members:

Step 1    Now until 3/15/23.
We are open for any volunteers or board member candidates

Step 2     March 3/15/23           
All qualified members will be considered for nomination

Step 3    3/31/23                       
Voting Count and results announced.

Step 4:   4/1/23 - 4/29/23         
Runoff election, if needed. Results published.

Duties of officers are listed below. For other volunteer opportunities, let us know how many hours you can offer and any skills you can offer or are interested in learning.

DUTIES OF OFFICERS:

Responsibilities of the President
Subject to such supervisory powers as the board may give to the chair of the board, if any, and subject to the control of the board, the president shall be the general manager of the corporation and shall supervise, direct, and control the corporation’s activities, affairs, and officers. The president shall preside at all members’ meetings and, in the absence of the chair of the board, or if none, at all board meetings.

Responsibilities of the Vice President
If the president is absent or disabled, the vice presidents, if any, in order of their rank as fixed by the board, or, if not ranked, a vice president designated by the board, shall perform all duties of the president. When so acting, a vice president shall have all powers of and be subject to all restrictions on the president. The vice presidents shall have such other powers and duties as the board or the bylaws may require.

Responsibilities of Secretary
The secretary shall keep or cause to be kept, at the corporation’s principal office or such other place as the board may direct, a book of minutes of all meetings, proceedings, and actions of the board, of committees of the board, and of members’ meetings. The minutes of meetings shall include the time and place that the meeting was held; whether the meeting was annual, general, or special, and, if special, how authorized; the notice given; the names of persons present at board and committee meetings; and the number of 12 members present or represented at members’ meetings.

The secretary shall also be responsible to notify the state marriage and family therapist association (CAMFT) within thirty (30) days of the election or appointment of chapter officers along with their names and addresses. (a) The secretary shall keep or cause to be kept, at the principal California office, a copy of the bylaws, as amended to date. (b) The secretary shall keep or cause to be kept, at the corporation’s principal office or at a place determined by resolution of the board, a record of the corporation’s members, showing each member’s name, address, and class of membership. (c) The secretary shall give, or cause to be given, notice of all meetings of members, of the board, and of committees of the board that these bylaws require to be given.

The secretary shall keep the corporate seal, if any, in safe custody and shall have such other powers and perform such other duties as the board or the bylaws may require.

Responsibilities of Chief Financial Officer
The chief financial officer shall keep and maintain, or cause to be kept and maintained, adequate and correct books and accounts of the corporation’s properties and transactions. The chief financial officer shall send or cause to be given to the members and directors such financial statements and reports as are required to be given by law, by these bylaws, or by the board. The books of account shall be open to inspection by any director at all reasonable times.

(a) The chief financial officer shall (1) deposit, or cause to be deposited, all money and other valuables in the name and to the credit of the corporation with such depositories as the board may designate; (2) disburse the corporation’s funds as the board may order; (3) render to the president, chair of the board, if any, and the board, when requested, an account of all transactions as chief financial officer and of the financial condition of the corporation; and (4) have such other powers and perform such other duties as the board or the bylaws may require.

(b) If required by the board, the chief financial officer shall give the corporation a bond in the amount and with the surety or sureties specified by the board for faithful performance of the duties of the office and for restoration to the corporation of all of its books, papers, vouchers, money, and other property of every kind in the possession or under the control of the chief financial officer on his or her death, resignation, retirement, or removal from office.

Responsibilities of the Membership Chair
The Membership Chair shall keep a record of members, showing the name of all members, their contact information, CAMFT number, membership status, and the class of membership held by each. The Membership Chair is responsible for verifying eligibility for membership with CAMFT and for submitting an annual membership report to CAMFT.  

Responsibilities of the Program Chair
The Program Chair will schedule speakers for the monthly seminars offered by IE-CAMFT, obtain necessary permissions, agreements, biographical information, resumes, presentation summaries, and objectives and submit them to be posted to the website.

Dear Members,

IE-CAMFT needs your assistance to help recruit new chapter members in our region!

As the IE-CAMFT membership chair, I periodically receive a list of new CAMFT members in our region from State CAMFT. I need your assistance to reach out to these individuals in a Special Project. Unfortunately, there are too many professionals in our region that are missing out on the great benefits of chapter membership like our monthly CE presentations, professional networking, discounted ad-space, and social events. You can be the difference our chapter needs!

If you agree to this Special Project, you will receive a list of potential new members for that month and be expected to:

• Connect with potential recruits via phone, email, video teleconference, or in-person meetings
• Gauge the interest levels of potential recruits in joining our chapter
• Advertise the benefits of chapter membership
• Direct potential recruits to the IE-CAMFT website

This Special Project might be right for you if:

• You are social and enjoy interacting with new people
• You would like to increase your professional network
• You want to see our chapter membership grow
• You would like to serve the IE-CAMFT board, but do not have the time or energy for a full-term board position
• You are interested in serving in a full-term board position in the future, but want to learn more before fully committing

Special Projects for the IE-CAMFT Board of Directors operate on a 30-day assignment rotation. If you agree to participate, you will be responsible to help IE-CAMFT for a period of 30 days (or more if you choose).

If you want to be assigned to this or any other Special Project, please contact us via email at iecamft@gmail.com using the subject line “[Your Name] Seeking IE-CAMFT Special Project Assignment”

Kindly,

Ilse - Membership Chair IE-CAMFT

We all have a personal story. And, at times we may be asked, directly or indirectly, to share a little of that story. It's amusing to watch old friends, relatives or spouses glaze over as one launches into a saga they've heard dozens of times before, even with slight variations. Even those diagnosed with dementia will share their story given the opportunity.

I am many things in my story; a loving and supportive spouse, a helpful therapist, and most recently, part of a professional organization, Inland Empire chapter of the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists ( IE-CAMFT). Within each of those roles exists an opportunity to show my true self to people I meet, and maybe even more importantly, to see myself in the eyes of others. At times I have discovered that being a partner, caregiver, or member of IE-CAMFT, is a challenge to the truth of my story. For example: I like to think of myself as having a higher level of purpose, so when I'm seen as such a person it is a good day for me.

Massachusetts General Hospital's magazine, Mind, Mood & Memory (February '23 issue), describes a higher level of purpose as being comorbid with healthy cognition, better mental health, and increased quality of life. For me, being part of IE-CAMFT supports the part of my story where I am a man of higher purpose; and being part of IE-CAMFT's board has at times reminded me of that goal.

My fondest wish is for my story to be more truth than fiction. As a human being I need my personal story to be validated by myself and others; if I were no longer able to find truth in my own story my disturbance would be very great indeed.

Would you like to share your story with IE-CAMFT? You can do so by participating in the CEU opportunities offered by our chapter; by taking in the ON DEMAND presentations; joining monthly board meetings, or by putting your name up for nomination to the board of directors.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted

Greetings!

It took experiencing both sides of the care-giving/care-receiving equation to understand just how disruptive this common predicament can be to one's life flow. As a therapist who works with couples, I've heard wonderful stories of supportive partners who worked collaboratively to provide care for another (like a parent or adult child). I've heard, too, how caregiving, and being cared for, can foment loneliness in one or both carers as they strive to work together providing care for a third or fourth person.

I would never wish to be a catalyst that separates two people who depend on each other for love and support. Nor would I ever want to disturb the unique rhythm between life partners; it's too beautiful and rare a dance to disrupt. But, I would hope that my caregiver would respect my wishes while possessing the wisdom to respect their own lives, relationships.

This balance is not easily achieved but the wisdom I have gained over the past year as your president — and the information I've gained from IE-CAMFT's many training opportunities — has been indispensable, helping me to expand the foundations of wisdom and knowledge I have to draw from. I love also that these trainings are available ON DEMAND*.

Being part of IE-CAMFT is important to me. It makes me feel that I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

*ON DEMAND are Presentations/CEU opportunities available at http://ie-camft.org. And, peruse our ON DEMAND Library; more offerings will be available soon. But don't delay, while these opportunities are currently free of charge for members, this may change soon. Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out at iecamft@gmail.com.

December brings to mind a story from my past. While it's not a traditional holiday story (and includes Santa Claus) it has value for me today. The story begins in 1949. I was a cute five year-old child, first born to a 26 year-old father and an 20 year-old mother. It was a simpler time, one without TV. Did we even have a radio or a telephone? I'm not sure.. My Dad was recently home from World War II and trying to earn enough driving a taxi to care for his family which also included my then 2 year-old sister. I remember vaguely that we lived in a small (rat infested) apartment, and at night my bed was a cot that served as kitchen table seating during the day. Coming and going from the apartment, I used a back staircase that we shared with the grocery store on the ground floor. It was while using this staircase that I saw the Boogie Man! I ran upstairs to warn my mother, breathlessly reporting that the Boogie Man was clad in red and white and bristled with cat whiskers. Naturally, she didn't believe me. Years passed and my Chicago public school education exposed me to stories about Santa Claus, his reindeer, and Christmas. I understood now that the Boogie Man on the stairs was just Santa Claus. As I got older and better understood the brain and the power of words, I understood that I had attached the image of cat whiskers to St. Nick, and that my Boogie Man was merely a figure created in the mind of a little boy who at that time had only been exposed to Jewish holiday traditions.

And so it is today: When we observe with our senses something in our world, we interpret its meaning using the knowledge we have. And like 5 year-old me, we may sometimes get it wrong due to limited information. That's why our CEU opportunities and ON DEMAND library is so important. They supply me with more information amid a richer context, presenting an opportunity to interpret my world better the first time, and a tool to re-evaluate what I interpreted perhaps wrongly in the past.

ON DEMAND are presentations/CEU opportunities at ie-camft.org. And, peruse our ON DEMAND Library; more offerings will be available soon. But don't delay, while these opportunities are currently free of charge for members, this may change soon. Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out at iecamft@gmail.com.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul

Nothing done for another is wasted.

Working with clients, I can't help but notice how personal plans are both helped, and sometimes, hindered, by cultural artifacts (norms, folkways, values, beliefs).

Moving closer to the holidays, we will find ourselves with family, friends, and others, all eagerly sharing what's gone on in the months leading to these year-end festivities. Also shared sometimes, one’s take on the choices, and actual life trajectory, of the celebrants.

If one's behavior up to now has been a satisfying blend of culturally accepted features/artifacts, and presented in an accurate, internally consistent way, this relational interaction is safe and satisfying. But if such a blend is not possible and one's sense of self is sacrificed to meet real or imagined cultural expectations, safe connection may be sabotaged, making this a year-end round-up strictly for the strong-hearted.

The choice of acceptable compromise has been made easier for me since being on the board of IE-CAMFT. Being a part of IE-CAMFT has helped me to value who I am and how best to show myself to others who matter to me. And the CEU opportunities offered by IE-CAMFT leave me with the courage to openly reveal myself to others, allowing me to feel both present and seen.

Looking for a little more courage of your own? Check out the support available from other professionals in our field by reaching out to the ON DEMAND opportunities for training on the IE-CAMFT website.

You'll find presentations/CEU opportunities available ON DEMAND on our website. Peruse our ON DEMAND LIBRARY; more offerings will be available soon. But, don't delay in checking these out; while all available presentations are free of charge for members currently, that will change soon!! Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out at iecamft@gmail.com.

And a special Winter Party invitation too!

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of the big picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

A client reported experiencing a numbness she said relieved anxiety. While working to address this numbness she questioned the need to " ... touch the numbness." Although the numbness felt to her like a solution, it also left her feeling alone. Numbness is a distraction; what the observing ego yearns for is someone — or some community of generative others — to soothe the observing ego's pain.

Information can be soothing as it fills holes in our understanding of how we can become more part of the whole, more a force for generativity, and less stagnation avoidant.

Check out the support available from other professionals in our field by reaching out to the ON DEMAND opportunities for information and training on the IE-CAMFT website.

You'll find presentations/CEU opportunities available ON DEMAND on our website at ie-camft.org. Peruse our ON DEMAND LIBRARY; more offerings will be available soon. Don't delay in checking these out; while all available presentations are free of charge for members currently that will change soon!!

Questions? Reach out at iecamft@gmail.com.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of the big picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

In my practice I've noticed clients may value what I think over what I feel about a particular subject. Understandable, since they may not know my feelings on that subject. And, after all, it's both my thoughts and feelings that comprise my being.

The same is true when clients share both their thoughts and feelings with me. Like receiving a gift, or being present at the unveiling of a work of art, my very being is enriched. I feel as though my mind is expanded and I can now honor them with a fuller understanding of their situation.

Looking for a way to honor your being? The IE-CAMFT website offers support from other professionals in our field in the form of ON DEMAND training opportunities. But don't delay, while these opportunities are currently free of charge for members, this may change soon. Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out at iecamft@gmail.com.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of a bigger picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

A number of my clients are themselves mental health professionals; people who begin each day equipped with the requisite skills needed to be caring and empathetic toward others. Surprisingly, I've discovered that these same folks may not be as tuned in to their own feelings, leaving them at a loss regarding and respecting them.

Also surprising is my own response to this situation. It has been an ongoing journey of allowing myself to take my own feelings into account without judgement, and to respect and even honor them without hubris. In the past I've thought of my feelings as beside the point, and that as a public servant the point should be my client's perspective. But not knowing how I feel is like not knowing what I don’t know and that can lead me down a path away from where I want to go.

That’s why I loved that our IE-CAMFT program chair, Lynn Flewelling, MFT, reported how she decided whom to contact to arrange for CEU trainings offered by IE-CAMFT. At a recent board of directors meeting she relayed that before selecting a speaker she ponders first what she would like to know more about and then pursues a speaker to fulfill her need to know. By taking this route she honors not only that need to know but also thereby shares her feelings with us.

Looking for a way to honor your feelings? Check out the support available from other professionals in our field by reaching out to the ON DEMAND opportunities for training on the IE-CAMFT website. You'll find presentations/CEU opportunities available ON DEMAND on our website at ie-camft.org (http://ie-camft.org/). And, peruse our ON DEMAND LIBRARY; more offerings will be available soon. But, don't delay in checking these out; while all available presentations are free of charge for members currently that will change soon!! Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out at iecamft@gmail.com.

I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of the big picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.

During our last IE-CAMFT board meeting, our Vice President, Omar Gonzalez-Valentino, PHD, LMFT commented that when he first joined IE-CAMFT the thought of being on the board was was an overwhelming idea.  He commented further that it would have been helpful if he could have had a friend/mentor on the board to help him appreciate what great value he could bring to IE-CAMFT by bringing himself, and the skill sets that are quintessentially Dr. Gonzalez-Valentino. The other board members have volunteered to be such a friend/mentor. If you are interested to making such a connection, contact the board member of your choice.

If you are looking for support from other professionals in our field, reach out to the On DEMAND opportunities for training on the IE-CAMFT website.

You'll find presentations/ CEU opportunities available ON DEMAND on our website at ie-camft.org. Look for ON DEMAND LIBRARY and more will be available soon. Don't Delay in checking these out, since all available presentations are free of charge for members (for now)!! Questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to iecamft@gmail.com.
 
I love being part of IE-CAMFT. It makes me feel that I'm part of the big picture, and that keeps me hopeful!

Warmly,
Paul Velen, MS, LMFT

Nothing done for another is wasted.